VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES IN TROUBLE AND HOW WE CAN SAVE THEM

Over the past few years video games, much like movies, have been suffering from a bit of slump. We’ve been seeing one remake or reboot after the next and worse yet, they haven’t always been successful with it. Also like Hollywood, game developers don’t see any problem with exploiting a franchise to the point which everyone wants to gouge their eyes out of they see another one.

In light of this new (and hopefully short) era of gaming I figured I would take the time to share with you all a few franchise that are in grave danger of becoming either obsolete or hated. But more importantly I wanted to share with you my thoughts on how we might be able to save them from certain doom…

RESIDENT EVIL:

Do you remember the first time you popped Resident Evil into the Playstation One (from here on out referred to as PSOne) and that damn dog jumped through the window scaring the bejeezus out of you? Or how about that moment when you’re reading the infamous journal in a bedroom of the mansion and the narrators writing reflects his slow transformation into a mindless zombie then you finish reading and the bastard’s half rotten corps comes flying out of the closet at you? These are both iconic moments from a truly iconic franchise. While Resident Evil certainly didn’t invent the survival horror genre, it did bring it to a certain level of perfection that only a rare few are capable of.

And what about those characters!?

Everyone remembers Barry “I’ve Got This!” Burton. Everything about the first game, all the way down to its mind-numbingly bad voice acting and dialogue (Jill sandwich anyone?) will forever be a part of video game history. Hell, the damn game spawned… a crapload of sequels and spinoffs. So why, you might ask, would I dare put Resident Evil on a list of franchises that need help?

What kind of idiot asshole who’s never played an RE game would ask such a stupid question!

Look, the first two games were great. Resident Evil 2 is easily a fan favorite. RE3… Par for the course. RE4? A much needed improvement and a great way of rebooting a series that had quickly grown stagnant. Resident Evil 5?.... Okay, if you don’t get it by now…

The problem with Resident Evil is that the story really doesn’t have anywhere else to go. It hasn’t had anywhere to go since Resident Evil 3 and Code Veronica. Resident Evil 4 gave us hope for the future, but with the Umbrella conspiracy out of the picture, what else is there to fall back on. We keep revisiting these same characters that Capcom has seen fit to curse so that they are forever fighting zombies and Las Plagas. These characters are getting old. Are we really expected to keep following them on these abnormal adventures? How many times is Leon or Chris going to have to kick zombie ass before someone finally gives em a break?!

Can The Franchise Be Saved?

            Yes… and no. Honestly there are only two things Capcom could logically do with Resident Evil that would make sense. First, they could just end it all with the upcoming Resident Evil 6 and NEVER make another one. The other alternative is to let the franchise fade out of existence for a while. We’re used to waiting at least three years between games anyway. What’s three more? I say wait six years between games and then announce the next game and wait another year before releasing it to the public. It needs to be a complete reboot too. Absolutely NONE of the characters from any previous Resident Evil are allowed to be a part of it unless they appear in very, VERY small cameos. The Resident Evil series needs a fresh face and a fresh story. No Umbrella or Tricell corporations. Something different. A new kind of conspiracy. Also, zombies. The game was totally better when there were zombies. Las Plagas were fun for one game, but I want my flesh eating corpses back. It’s so much more satisfying to blow off a zombies head with a shotgun than some vagina faced Spanish guy.

           

            But the most important change of all…

            

            Absolutely, positively NO references to the previous games what-so-ever! Make it an all new experience as if no one had ever played an RE game before.

GOD OF WAR:

            I know there have only technically been five or six games in this series and there is yet another one on the horizon, but does Kratos really need to still be tearing things apart in GOD OF WAR XXII? The guy has already destroyed every God in existence and he took the planet down with them, plunging it into complete darkness and damning us all.

            Kratos is a very bad man.

            I don’t even know why they bother trying to improve the combat system with each new game. All I do is mash the damn buttons anyway and eventually every enemy on screen dies a horrible death and I’m left more desensitized than I was before. Unfortunately, the franchise still has waaaayyyyy too many fans to even suggest ending it.

            But I’m gonna do it anyway.

            Why does God of War need to end? Because it’s going to become nothing more than another cash cow that gets regurgitated over and over again and people are going to keep buying it because part of them wants to believe that someday they’ll make a great GoD game again. Plain and simple, GoD will never change or get better and the story will continue to get weirder and weirder until it doesn’t make a lick of sense any more.

Can The Franchise Be Saved?

            No.

            The downside to being an action game like God of War is that there really isn’t much room for improvement without completely revising the story and turning it into something completely different (Castlvania: Lords of Shadow). I suppose in several years they could try doing a reboot (and probably will) but I think the world will have moved on by then and rightfully so. Plain and simple, Kratos just isn’t interesting enough to keep dragging this franchise out.

METAL GEAR:

            No one out there loves this franchise like I do. Hideo Kojima is an artistic hero of mine and for all intents and purposes he should be yours too. The Metal Gear franchise has done more for me as a writer and (wannabe) filmmaker than any other video game in history. So believe me when I say that it pains me to put this franchise on the list… but it is also very necessary.

            If there’s one thing Metal Gear has always had going for it it’s the story. The cinematic level at which the story unfolds is astonishing and occasionally awkward, but that’s what we love about it. New twists and turns keep us guessing and in some cases altogether throwing our arms up in confusion all the while dishing out some of the most fun tactical espionage game play we’ve ever seen.

            I’ll keep this one brief. If you played Metal Gear Solid 4 than you know just as well as I do that this franchise needs to just end. I don’t see a reboot on the horizon either, though I will admit, of all the games on this list, Metal Gear is probably the best candidate for a reboot.  However, much like Resident Evil, the story of Metal Gear simply has nowhere else to go. It’s said everything that it needs to say and done everything that it needs to do. Hell, Kojima essentially killed off the main hero who was arguably the only reason anyone played the game anyway. Snake was an interesting character. An anti-hero who made kicking terrorist ass look good. But that’s it. Snake grew old and presumably died three months after the game launched. End of story. No more to tell.

So what if they can produce prequels? Big Boss is an interesting character, but he’s no Snake and wouldn’t more Metal Gear games essentially defeat the purpose of the story? The whole concept behind MGS4 was that heroes grow old and heroes die. They aren’t immortal, even when they are video game heroes. In many ways, Kojima created the physical embodiment of my own personal philosophy on heroism; that real heroes never live to tell the tale. If they keep making MGS games then the point is rendered moot.

Please, for the love of all that is good in the world just end the Metal Gear franchise.

FINAL FANTASY:

            This is another one of those franchises that I’m indifferent about ending. This is a series that, like many gamers, I grew up with. I didn’t always love it. In fact the first time I played the original Final Fantasy I played it for all of ten minutes and then, three days later, it was taken back to the video store so some other poor, unsuspecting kid could rent it. And to this day I hope that kid got his money’s worth because I still hate that game and would rather scoop my eyes out of my head with a plastic spork then spend more than two seconds even staring at the cover. The first Final Fantasy was ridiculously hard and there wasn’t much else to the game. The story was very simple and the character were far from compelling. But then something happened…

            A few years later I got my hands on Final Fantasy 6 (originally Final Fantasy 3 for the Super Nintendo… Don’t ask). I’m not sure what it was about the game that compelled me to play it, but one of my fellow junior high class mates was kind enough to give me the game (I would say “borrow” the game but… I never gave it back to him). I had basically missed out on Final Fantasy 4 (FF2 when it first released in America… Again. Don’t ask) and my experience with the first game in the series left a bad taste in my mouth. However, this kid kept raving about his favorite characters and talking about how awesome the story was. And all of HIS friends were talking about how awesome it was too. And like any other self-respecting junior high student I opted to follow the crowd and find out what all the fuss was about.

            After spending only three minutes with Final Fantasy 6 I fell in love. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I was part of some epic adventure and that I had to complete my journey or other innocent people might die. It was amazing! By the time I finally beat the game I was left with the same sensation I got after watching the original Star Wars trilogy all the way through for the first time. That overwhelming feeling of accomplishment as if you were just a part of the greatest event in history and despite being overjoyed at the happy outcome there was a hint of sadness too knowing that it was finally over. I didn’t want it to end… And thus I was transformed into someone who gets a little too sentimental at times… Don’t judge me!

            Now, several years and nine sequels later I find myself fearful for the future of this franchise. Seven was a great game and arguable one of the best in the series. Eight was all right but the main character (Squall) annoyed the piss out of me. Nine… well I never actually played through nine. I started it, but it seemed like fate was determined to keep me from playing it. Final Fantasy 10…. Okay, so if you’ve been following this blog since it started than you already have a pretty good idea of how I feel about FF10. Let me just reiterate that the gameplay was solid and addictive and FF10 has one of the best mini games that I’ve ever played (you can’t honestly tell me you didn’t like Blitzball even a little bit) but the voice acting was so atrocious that it had no business being there. I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. I mean, there’s no way they could screw it up twice in a row, right?....

            Son of a bitch!

            Yes. Final Fantasy 12 wasn’t that great either. The voice acting was stale and the gameplay seemed like it was overcomplicating itself for no reason other than to try something different.

            “Whoa! Wait a minute there, Ryan Brewer! You skipped over Final Fantasy 11.” Yeah. I know. You wanna know why? Because it was a fucking MMO! Square took one of the most beloved single player franchises and turned it into another stupid MMO. Don’t get me wrong. There are good MMO’s out there, but FF11 isn’t one of them. It wouldn’t bother me so much if it was a good MMO, but it’s not. FF11 has no business being an MMO. A numbered title in the series should NEVER BE AN MMO!! Why couldn’t they just call it Final Fantasy Online? Would that have been too hard? Were they afraid people wouldn’t recognize a Final Fantasy game without a fucking number in the title?

            I suppose I should also mention that Final Fantasy 10 spawned a direct sequel. Yep. That’s right. The series that was most famous for none of the sequels having anything to do with each other finally spawned a direct sequel… and oh my dear, sweet Zeus was it awful. I can’t… I mean… the words to describe such a game… I could easily offend someone, but… Fine! You know what? I’m gonna say it. I don’t like it, but I’m going to say it because there is no other way I can think of to possibly convey my thoughts on this game. Final Fantasy 10-2 is the gayest game I’ve ever played. Seriously! Even gay men would call this game gay. You play as three flamboyant women, two of which were primary characters from the first game, and you change outfits during battle to give yourself magical powers.

            Let me help you with that.

            YOU CHANGE OUTFITS DURING BATTLE TO GIVE YOURSELF MAGICAL POWERS! Like… literally change outfits. Not armor. Outfits. Clothes. As in dresses and leather, people. There’s even an outfit where they dress like a pop star. This is supposed to replace the “Bard” job role for anyone that is familiar with an RPG, but… it’s… for Christ sake they might as well have made Britney Spears a playable character!

            And then there is Final Fantasy 13 and it’s direct sequel FF 13-2. Though, really they could have named the game anything they want because there isn’t even the slightest semblance of Final Fantasy here. Final Fantasy 13 was a Final Fantasy game in spirit only. The overall game design, the sound and music, the crappy voice acting and whiny characters were enough to make me want to puke. How could a series that was once so great devolve into something so putrid? Where are the badass characters and dark as fuck story lines? Why are all the side quests and mini games nothing more than MMO style hunts where you go out and find some uber powerful monster and fight them for several hours and gain little or nothing for a reward? What happened to story based side quests? Why are these games so bright and cheery these days?

Can The Franchise Be Saved:

            I would like to think so, but I’m not even sure if it would be worth it. If Final Fantasy wants to reclaim its place as the best single player RPG it needs to return to its darker roots and get away from the gender challenged characters and bright and cheery visuals. It needs to return to the sci-fi fantasy noir from which it sprung and stop trying to be an overly long interactive Anime.

            Or they could just do the world a favor and stop making Final Fantasy games.

            And finally, the last franchise on my list is….

            Wait for it……

            You’re going to freak out….

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA:

            Before anyone grabs their Nintendo Zappers and hunts me down like that damn mutt from Duck Hunt, let me start off with the “Can this franchise be saved” part and say “Yes”. I have nothing against Zelda. I think it’s an awesome franchise and I have plenty of childhood memories of these games. The problem is that Zelda never goes anywhere. Every game in the series is the same damn game with the same damn characters embarking on the same damn quest to save the same damn Princess. I think if TLOZ wants to stick around the best bet for Zelda is to reboot the franchise and try to focus more on telling a cohesive story with a clear background and history.

            Let’s face it. The only thing that ever changes about a Zelda game is its presentation. Occasionally they try to get sneaky by throwing in a new story element like the Twilight Princess or Zant (who was a completely pointless villain character) but at the end of the day Link is still fighting against Ganon in an attempt to save the Princess Zelda. The worst part is that the creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, claims that there is a coherent chronology to the series, but any fan with half a brain knows there isn’t. It’s the same game over and over and over again just being regurgitated back onto our plates. It looks different, but it’s the same vomit we spewed up twenty times before.

            I know there are people out there who love this franchise so much that they worship Hyrule and its inhabitants the same way LOTR fans worship Frodo’s big toe. But come on people! We’re older gamers now. Don’t we deserve a Legend of Zelda game with a little more substance and intelligence? Either give the series its final curtain call or change it. That’s all I’m saying.